A quick thought...

Matt and I have it on our heart to just drop a quick note clarifying MY health. While I tested positive for Lyme etc, I am NOT sick. Ya, sure I am tired a lot...but I have a toddler : ) The testing that we did to check my Lyme numbers will come back positive for ANY low lying levels of the infection.

It is not a big concern, but given the way Matt LOOKS, its hard for people to not think that its a terrible thing. Lyme is a tricky thing, and as in Matts case, it lowers the immune system allowing for other infections. Thankfully I am a pretty healthy person, so while I do test positive for some of it, my body has not been compromised in any way. I dont feel sick. Please dont be concerned. We went back and forth with even saying anything on the blog about me, but we figured we might as well tell the whole story : )

Matts doc will also be treating me, and we ALL (even the doc) feel confident that it will be a quick process. Its also actually a good thing that we know this because while I'm not sick now, having that underlying infection could cause me to get sick later. Often, people dont present Lyme until they have surgery for something else, or are on antibiotics for something that then allows the infection to grow. So its good to nip this in the - well even pre "bud" stage. Its more like a seed than even a bud! : ) Also, even if I am not sick, if Matts Lyme levels go down, but his immune system is still low (which it will be for a while) I could possibly give it back to him. So it is a good idea to just kill it all!

By the way, Lyme is not contagious like a flu or cold. Really the only reason I have this is because we are married. The reason we checked Rebecca is because it has been shown to be passable from Mother to fetus. I hardly think that my levels of infection have ever been raging enough to pass to her though.

We love you all. And we are so thankful to be the recipients of so much love and care. Goodnight.

Doctor appt. 2/24/12

So after he looked over the results from my and Corrie's latest testing, our doctor called us in sooner than previously planned so that we could further hone our battle plan.  You can check out the post if you don't remember, but the results of the testing were for the most part very good.  Parasites are way down, the heavy metals are coming out, Lyme is way down.  And in light of all of this, what has arisen as the next puzzle piece to handle is my viral load.  Now is where you can applaud me for being able to eat enough to support the whole myriad of organisms camping out inside of me...a bunch of different bacteria, mycoplasma, parasites (worm and non-worm...I know TMI), and now VIRUSES!!!

Basically, our doctor wants me to continue with the parasite protocol that we had previously started.  It consists of 7 days of treatment, followed by 10 days off, until I've had three rounds of 7 days.  I am just finishing my second round, so I'll be done with that in 17 days!  The reason for this, again probably TMI, is that parasites lay eggs.  So you want to kill the living ones for seven days, give ten days for the eggs to hatch, then kill all the new ones until...no more eggs and no more parasites.

We are going to put a hold on the IV chelation therapy for a while.  Our doctor said that my metal toxicity levels are significantly lower now.  Also, since my body is slowly being able to overcome these various infections, it will also slowly be able to rid itself of the metals.  That's really what we want...for my body to be able to defend itself as God made it to do.

As soon as the medicine gets here, I will be starting a virus-killing protocol to get rid of my underlying Epstein-Barr, HHV6, and HPV viruses.  Both our doctor and the doctor who ran our latest tests think that getting rid of these bad boys could be the key to unlocking my methylation (major detoxification) cycle, which could be a significant "turning of the corner".  Naturally we are excited about this thought and will be going full throttle after these viruses for the next several weeks, while still finishing the parasites, keeping the Lyme at bay, and supplementing my body with the necessary nutrients to jumpstart my methylation.

I will be going in to the office regularly to receive IV treatments packed with amino acids and a bunch of other powerhouse nutrients, since my body needs the extra strength that has been drained by these infections.  I am excited about these IVs because they could make me feel pretty good, and I think that they will be invaluable in boosting my body's natural ability to heal itself.

A couple other smaller things for me: I will be starting physical therapy here in Santa Cruz hopefully next week.  I think this will really help my mobility and pain!  Also, we are waiting on the ozone joint injections until my detoxification is better, but I still hope to do that soon.

As for Corrie, you'll remember that her test results showed Lyme and parasites as well as a few other things.  Our doctor really wants to take care of her, so we are currently working out some of the logistics of Medi-Cal and such so that she can get her care covered.  We also asked our doctor about whether Rebecca should be tested.  At this time he is not worried about her at all given her really good health, development, and social skills.  She is showing NO signs of anything.  So we are going to continue to pray health over her and support her body in the same ways that we have been so far. 

Prayer Request Time!

1. These last two months have been more testing, more visits, and more treatments back to back than at any other time during this illness. Please pray for endurance and provision as we truck it through.

2. We are so thankful for our doctor and for his dedication to digging out all the many aspects of my sickness. Please pray for continued insight and good instincts on his part, but also that our time with him would also be a witness TO him. (While we're at it, lets just add all the nursing staff and receptionists too! They know our names now, we chat, and they ask us questions about our life. Lets pray that the Lord keeps that up.)

3. The IV treatments that we are starting will be 2 to 3 hours long! Please pray for boldness to get to know and encourage the other patients who sit nearby. The IV treatments all happen in one room with about 10 chairs all facing each other. Good chatting opportunities.

4. Keep praying that this stinking methylation cycle would open up! So many of our "next steps" hinge on it. And we want my body to be working with and not against the treatments.

5. Please pray that Medi-Cal will cover the blood work for Corrie, and maybe some of the treatment too as a bonus!

6. This seems like a given, but please pray for just straight up down right HEALING! We will take it any way we can get it. And we know that it will be for the glory of the Lord. So that's what we want. Healing, and a testimony that points to Him.

His Strength in Our Weakness

Hi again everyone.  I am so thankful for the support you all have shown us over the last couple of weeks.  This may be a bit vain, but even just looking at the number of page views is encouraging.  I really hope that this blog can be an encouragement to you too.  Corrie and I have tried to be dreadfully honest with our feelings and thoughts, hoping to just make known God's compassion and faithfulness to two regular Joes (Corrie is more of a Josephina).  Sometimes it can seem like someone going through a health crisis...and ESPECIALLY someone going through a health crisis with an awesome blog like THIS one :-)  must have an extra dose of spirituality.

Well, with every post we want to debunk that myth and just be real.  During this sickness, I've fought with God.  At times, I've fought with Corrie.  At times I've been a selfish husband.  At times I would rather sit and watch an episode of "24" than spend time with God.  But I can say with full confidence that it is "God who works in us both to will and to work according to his good pleasure" (as our pastor mentioned on Sunday).  While my choices do definitely have spiritual and eternal impact, at the same time I rest knowing that the Lord Almighty is shaping me and molding me and correcting me so that I am indeed being changed "from glory to glory." 

I guess I just want you to know that anything that seems noble and attractive in us is really just Christ in us.  He takes real, normal people and makes them his own.  And that process is a beautiful thing.  Sometimes it seems like the only raw materials I give him to work with are...not the most holy things.  But he raises up a warrior where there was once only a peasant.  His Spirit whispers, "I delight in you.  You are mine.  You are a new creature, and you are more than a conqueror."  And slowly, but incredibly powerfully, those words course through our veins and transform our beings from fallen sinners to a "royal priesthood." 

It's crazy when you start to read the Bible as a child would, when you try to believe EVERYTHING it says without injecting it with your own "buts" and "explain-it-aways".  Then you realize that Christ "has given me EVERY spiritual blessing."  He has "given me EVERYTHING that pertains to life and godliness."  The God who spoke the world into existence and who tells the tides how high they can come actually lives INSIDE of me.  The voice that "splinters the cedars of Lebanon" is the same voice that tells me, "Neither do I condemn you...go and sin no more."  Then I see that Jesus says, "You will do greater works than these."  And, "Those who follow me will cast out demons and heal the sick."  And, "WHATEVER you ask in my name, believe you have received it and it will be given to you."

I see these things and I realize that I spend most of my time believing only about 10% (super rough estimate) of the promises of God.  What would this world look like if we could be like children, and just believe what God tells us?  We'd probably start to see a lot more of His power and even less of ours.  Let's try it and see what happens.

Doctor appt 2/20/12.......testing testing

This afternoon we both had appointments to run thorough tests that ascertain toxin, and infection levels, track improvement, as well as determine where your body is generally weak. Our doctor has this office run information gathering tests on his patients, and so we will be discussing in this post where our numbers stand, but as far as treatment plans go, we are still sticking to the path that we have been telling you about. When we see our doctor next, we will discuss any adjustments or changes to our plan.

We got some good news! My Lyme levels are way down from where they were. This includes the co-infections of Babesia, Bartonella, Erlichea (doesn't even have a reading anymore!), and Mycoplasma. This means that even though we switched gears a bit a few weeks ago to attack the parasites, the Lyme and its cohorts have seen significant depletion, and their numbers remain low.

Also good: we are down from 5 parasites to 2! And those 2 are showing lower levels than before. We are continuing on our current parasite protocol, and hopefully we can beat these guys for good soon

The heavy metal chelation is also working! And the process of purging the metals is successfully exposing some other, previously hidden, areas that need work. We will be continuing chelation after this next seven days of parasite attack.

By ridding my body of metals, however, viruses are being exposed as yet another primary cause of my inflammation. Particularly the ever-awful Epstein Barr Virus, which is often related to chronic fatigue syndrome. Interestingly, I have been feeling a new wave of tired. Or chronically fatigued as it were.

As our doctor suspected, the viral load could very well be what is causing my methylation cycle to be non-functioning. I have been taking a lot of vitamins and minerals to support the cycle, but we are hoping that attacking this virus will be the missing link. My body cannot efficiently detox without the methylation cycle being opened up, and without the ability to detoxify, my inflammation will stay high, even though infections are dying off.

Testing also showed that my adrenal and thyroid hormone levels are out of whack. This is another factor in my fatigue and inflammation.

So basically all of the work that we have been doing has been successful in decreasing my body's infection load. It will be important that we continue doing this kind of testing consistently, so that we can keep tabs on which infection is playing the biggest role at any given time.

We are very thankful that our doctor suggested that Corrie get tested today as well. It turns out that she is also positive for Lyme and its coinfections, mold, and also a couple parasites. (As the Church Lady says: Well isn't THAT special!) We know this sounds intense, but the timing of finding this is actually good. The numbers are very low, and it should be easy to treat. Also, without her getting treatment, it is possible that we could continue to pass these infections back and forth. Our first question was also then about Rebecca and should we have her tested. While her health is currently perfect, we just want to be one step ahead of this. We will be conversing with our doctor about this too when we see him next. And while that concept can be a little scary, we know that her health is entirely in the Lord's hands, and He will lead us in how to protect her.

Prayer and Praises

1. Please pray that the treatments that we are doing for Lyme, parasites, and viruses would continue to be as effective as they have been.

2. Pray that Matt would be encouraged by seeing some improvement in his body (arthritis, inflammation) as the infection numbers improve. Its one thing to see it on paper, its another to feel it.

3. Even if you aren't quite sure what it means cause we aren't that great at explaining it, please pray that Matt's methylation cycle would improve and open up completely. The Lord will know what you mean. We did find that Ozone Therapy would indeed be beneficial for his body (see previous prayer requests), and yet, we can't do that until his body is able to detox all the toxins that the treatment would expose. So we are very eager as you may imagine.

4. Please pray for Corrie. It was a bit of a pill to swallow that she is not the pillar of strength and health that she wants to be during this time. Please pray that her treatment will be quick and precise. Pray that her energy and strength will be ever-increasing.

5. Please pray for our little family of three (and the naughty cat). That we will be tightly knit and that we would love each other more each day.

Thank you again and always for taking the time to read this, pray, and care for us the way you do. Love always, Matt and Corrie
 



 

Busted

            First on my agenda is to talk about my husband’s awesome-ness. Last week he got to speak at Chapel at his old middle school, and tomorrow (Sunday) he will be speaking at Teen Challenge in Watsonville. Wow! I always love it when Matt gets the opportunity to speak because, #1 he takes it very seriously, whether it’s jr. highers, recovering addicts, or packed out stadiums. (Ok he hasn’t done the stadium one yet, but it’s clearly the logical next step in my head…)And my #2 reason, which is by no means lesser in importance—I just thought of it second—is that he prays about it, but really barely prepares. I love that. It is so important to him that the Lord’s words be spoken, that he reads Scripture and prays and asks the Lord to do it, but usually does little more than jot down a few references. So please join us in praying that the Lord will use Matt’s mouth to speak life-giving words of encouragement and hope tomorrow at Teen Challenge, and please also pray for the seeds that were sown last Wednesday at Baymonte’s Chapel service.

            Ok moving right along.

            I only have a very vague idea of what I want to write today, but I do feel like I should write something, so please bear with me as I muddle through.

            Rebecca and I go lots of places together in the car, so there has been a lot of radio going on lately. Is that just sooo 90’s of me or what? Generally I just “check” the Christian radio stations on my way to something else, but given that she is in that “parrot” stage, and given that her two current favorite songs are “Moves like Jagger” and “Tonight, tonight” by Maroon 5 and Hot Chelle Rae respectively, I have recognized my mom-fail, and have been trying to reacquaint her with Christian music. And since Air 1 has like 5 songs that they just play in rotation right now, I’ve been listening more closely to the words because, well, I’m a captive audience.

            This is one that caught my attention; it’s by For King & Country:

Winter has come back again
Feels like the season won't end
My faith is dying tonight
And I won't try to pretend

I've got it all figured out
That I don't have any doubts
I've got a busted heart, I need You now
Yeah, I need You now

Hold on to me, hold on to me
Don't let me lose my way, hold on to me

I am the wandering son
Your love is never enough
I keep chasing the wind
Instead of chasing Your love

I'm screaming out Your name
Don't let me fall on my face
I've got a busted heart
I'm in need of a change, yeah, I'm desperate for grace

Chorus

Broke Your heart a thousand times
But You've never left my side, you have always been here for me
You never let me go, You never let me go
Don't ever let me go

Chorus 2x

Until it comes to an end
Soon this season will end
I'll surrender tonight
You meet me right where I am

You know how when you sit down to work on a project, you keep discovering other projects that need to happen before you can do that one? Or how if you actually get that one done, you just realize that it requires three more projects? Or how if you move one piece of furniture in a room then suddenly you have to move them all? And then you get sidetracked by all the cool stuff you find under the couch? Yes, well, I have been realizing lately just how un-Feng-Shui the living room of my heart is. There is a lot of rearranging to do. I have a busted heart.

When we were kids, every so often mom would open our closet to put something away, take a step back and say something along the lines of: This is absurd, how did it get like this? You will now clean this.

But that was also a problem, ‘cause three girls trying to A. share a closet and B. clean it together and C. not kill each other was, perhaps, simply more than we could handle. Sometime later, after fights and lots of distractions (HOW do we divide the space evenly? WHO gets stuck with the random no-man’s-land behind where the two sliding doors overlap? Hint: Corrie)…Where was I? Oh, sometime that afternoon mom would walk back in to find that EVERYTHING was OUT of the closet and now in the middle of the room. Then she would really lose it. We tried telling her that it had to get worse before it could get better but that didn’t seem to work for her.

What I’m saying is this: As I struggle to “clean” out all the bitter, judgmental, critical, lazy parts of my life, I just keep finding more crap back there. The last two lines of that song say “I’ll surrender tonight, You meet me right where I am” and I just see myself standing in the middle of all my piles, dropping my hands and surrendering.

I’m a fighter. And I’ll fight my battles to the bitter end… “we may die! But we will die gloriously!” or something like that. Here’s me, fighting with both hands, swashbuckling over here, and karate chopping over there, and here is the Lord, standing right by me, waiting for me to turn it over to Him. “Are you quite finished trying?”

This doesn’t mean that we don’t work on it at all, or that our lives magically change. This also doesn’t mean that you don’t have to clean your closet when your mom says to, or better yet, just keep it clean. (Dang, there’s one more thing on my to-do list) But it does mean, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.”  And it does mean, “the battle belongs to the Lord.” As we keep walking in line with where He leads us, (And it will be crazy, filled with moments of surrender. Think of Gideon defeating an army with…wait for it…lamps. You think they thought THAT was a good idea?) then He will show us where those unorganized piles of life-junk can be put away…for good…and stay there.

Doc appt 2/10/12 update

Thank you for your faithful prayers in this last week since we started the blog. We have posted an update on the prayer requests from last week, which you can link to here: prayer-request-updates-21112, and we have another appointment to summarize for you.

Our doctor was pleased with Matt's progress over last week. The fact that the Prednisone made him feel good...and that the Parasite killing stuff made him feel bad...back and forth all week is good! That means that both are working. So we are continuing on that track, only cutting down on the Prednisone to try to establish the lowest dosage that will take the edge off, minimizing the side effects.

Because his body handled the die-off well, we started the IV chelation treatment! That is the process of forcing the heavy metals out of his system. Matt will be heading over the hill 2x a week for this treatment for the next few weeks (PLUG! If you ever feel like hanging out with Matt for a day, or grabbing lunch over the hill with him, let us know!). It seemed that Matt felt the effects of this treatment pretty strongly, which is great because it again shows that we're on the right track. 

If these treatments with the parasites and the heavy metals continue to be effective, Matt very well may begin to see and feel some long overdue relief in the next few weeks.  In a couple weeks, after we go through the next 7-day parasite killing period, we're going to be evaluating our progress with the doctor and will from there decide on whether or not to bring a rheumatologist into the mix.  A rheumatologist would be able to provide valuable monitoring of Matt's arthritis symptoms as well as some drugs that are really effective at halting the arthritis process.  Obviously these are great things.  The downside is that the rheumatology drugs can slow down the core healing processes and have some negative effects if taken long-term.  So prayer for guidance in this is a big necessity!

Another treatment that is currently happening, but not quite so forefront, is the support of Matt's Methylation Cycle. Buckle down. This is about to get all Magic School Bus on you. Methylation Cycle is a fancy way of saying "how a body purges toxins" and it includes all those yummy organs such as liver, kidney, gall bladder, bile duct, lymph system etc. Currently his system is "stressed" and therefore clamped down, and not working efficiently. DUH! So through several different supplements, including a shot that I get to administer to my dear husband 3 times a week (nice), we are hoping to "open up" the Methylation Cycle! Once that happens, we can march forward with more big-guns, because his body will be able to detoxify more quickly and thoroughly.

Our Doctor wrote us a prescription for physical therapy, with the intent of building up muscle around joints in a low or even non-impact way, to take stress off of the damaged joints.

In this coming week Matt will be receiving two Chelation treatments, as well as meeting with the Desensitization Doctor to test, and ensure, that his body is still accepting all the medications. A week from this coming Monday, we will also be testing Matt to see if his body would accept, and work with Ozone Therapy...(hear: Dum-Dum-Duhhhhhhhh!!!)...We have been doing a lot of research into this concept, and have found a treatment called Prolozone. It is a series of injections of nutrients and Ozone directly into the arthritic joints that can have incredible and sometimes permanent healing capabilities. Our Doctor likened this treatment to going in with a machine gun and blasting everything it sees, which is cool, but we do have to ensure that his body can handle that large of a die-off without going into shock.

I think that just about covers it. Now on to prayer requests!

PRAYER!!

1. Please pray that this Parasite/Heavy Metal treatment will continue to be effective, and that it will be that trigger we have been looking for for so long. Doc is looking for overall decreased inflammation as the treatment progresses...and of course, so are we.

2. Pray that Matt's body tests positive for accepting and working with Ozone! We would love to move forward into that treatment route.

3. Pray that we find a great physical therapist on THIS side of the hill, and that Matt would have the energy to even go. And to handle the die-off that would inevitably come from working long unused muscles.

4. Here's an impossible one that we can believe for! Please pray that Matt's body handles all these drugs, and undergoes NONE of the negative effects. Lets pray that Jesus literally negates them.

5. And here's another that seems huge. Lets pray for complete healing and restoration of the arthritic joints. Total range of motion and ability restored. Our GOD is able.

6. Please pray for our extended family, and specifically the 5 parents we have between us. Pray against the fear and restlessness that they must tread through as they watch their children fight this. Pray against feelings of helplessness and frustration.

Thank you for your time reading this, and for the support that each of you is to us. May the Lord bless your lives tremendously, and may you know how deep and wide His love is for you.

Love always, Matt and Corrie

Prayer request updates 2/11/12

Here is an update for all of you who have been praying for us, and specifically for the requests that we listed in the post titled Doctor appt. 2/3/12 ......and a little more.


Thank you for praying, for "this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him." (1 John 5:14-15)

(The Request) 1. Please pray that this parasite killer works! This drug is intense, and it is the drug best used for one of the two parasites. If it works REALLY well, it could knock both of them out at once...and that is what we are going for!




(The answer) I really felt over this past week, that this medication was doing its job.  The first night after I started taking it, my sleep was incredibly restless with a huge surge of pain and discomfort.  This sounds bad, but it is evidence that a LOT of bad critters were getting their bumpkins (that's our toddler word for it) kicked!

2. Please pray that my body handles the die off. If this week is too hard, our doctor is going to be hesitant to start the heavy metal treatments...because that too will have a die off.
 
Thank Jesus, we did indeed start the IV heavy metal chelation treatments.  My doctor was pleased with our report and so we dove head first into this facet of my treatment!

3. We have recently discovered that my body becomes sensitized very quickly to treatments and drugs. This could go any way. I could become sensitized to the Prednisone, and start hurting A LOT. Or, conversely, I could become sensitized to the Parasite treatment and start feeling GREAT on the Prednisone. We have to watch for both.
 
Again, an answer to prayer.  The essential medications really seemed to be effective all week long.

4. Please pray for protection on my joints, and that when the time comes, we would be led to the best physical therapy for my condition.
 
My doctor wrote a prescription for physical therapy, and he suggested a good place to us, but it is over the hill.  For something that happens as frequently as physical therapy, we would really like to find a place in the Santa Cruz area.  But ultimately we want the best for my joints and their preservation/regeneration.

5. Please pray for Corrie. She spends the majority of her time serving me and taking care of Rebecca, and she needs all the energy and strength she can get.
 
 Praise God that she has carried our family through another week.  She has, however, been quite tired, and it seems like all her time is full.  Please keep praying for renewed strength in her body especially, but also her mind and spirit.  Please contend for the fulfillment of Isaiah 40:31 in her life: "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."

6. Please pray for wisdom as we are always listening for the Lord's direction in treatments.

More detail will come about this in the shortly forthcoming doctor's appointment update, but just know that God is fulfilling this request presently.  Yesterday, before our appointment, I was feeling uneasy, unsure, like a piece of kelp whose holdfast has come undone and is just drifting aimlessly in the ocean.  (Forgive the sixth grade biology analogy)  But I prayed that the Lord would unite Corrie, myself, and our doctor and let us all be on the same page.  This would be my assurance that we are moving in a good direction, because I really wasn't sure of what direction to take.  Thank God, he answered my prayer, and he is speaking his guidance to us. 

²⁵ “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten,
The crawling locust,
The consuming locust,
And the chewing locust,
My great army which I sent among you.
²⁶ You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
And praise the name of the Lord your God,
Who has dealt wondrously with you;
And My people shall never be put to shame.
²⁷ Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel:
I am the Lord your God
And there is no other.
My people shall never be put to shame.

Joel 2:25-27

Follow ME

There are some lessons in life that I think I am destined to have to learn over and over. But here in a faith filled moment, I want to declare to you the goodness of the Lord as I have seen it, quickly, before I am tempted to doubt again. The topic is: Money, and following the Lord’s leading.

Malachi 3:10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this,” says the LORD of hosts, “if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.

My human response to this verse: Do I have to? Are you sure you meant me Lord? Cause things are kind a falling apart around here and there isn’t much to go around… Isn’t it the thought that counts? Cause trust me if I could I would….

In September of 2010, Matt and I looked around ourselves and realized that we were striving. And more and more the Lord was laying it on our hearts that we needed a change. Having moved all the way to New York to pursue Matt’s lifelong dream of attending seminary we were a little shocked when the Lord made it clear that He had actually finished what He took us out there for and it was time to go back.

So it was with hope in Him, and yet no little amounts of confusion (with a hint of disappointment) that we moved back to California, and into Lynne’s house (Matt’s mother). With 5 unfinished debts. With a husband whose health was declining, finally coming to a point where he could no longer work.

When we arrived in CA we had nothing left. And our first few weeks were full of the thoughts of “well what now?” We had not yet found a church, but Matt came to me one day saying he felt that we needed to tithe anyways. I reluctantly agreed (“ya, ya, ‘test me in this’ blah blah blah…”). So we tithed to a mission that we keep up with and pray for. That was Friday.

On Saturday we were visited by some longtime friends of Matt’s who I had never met. They were a sweet couple who love the Lord, and who know pain, and therefore they had been praying for Matt and me for some time. Judy, the wife, had started a mission of her own. Gathering together with a group of women who love to knit, they sell their creations to create funds that they can send off to whomever they feel led. They call themselves the Knit Wits. And after telling us about the group, Judy handed us a hefty check. 24 hours before, I did not know this woman existed, and Matt barely remembered them from long before.

A few weeks later we were given two hundred dollars from some friends that I did know. It came with a sweet letter of care and hope. But a few days later, when yet another friend was telling us that her car had broken down and she had no idea how she would pay to fix it, I realized that my heart was telling me to give that money to her. No, MY life is bad. No, obey the Holy Spirit. When I shared with Matt how I was feeling, he amazingly replied “I know, I felt that we needed to give it to her also.”

Then the Lord laid something else on my heart. My home business had become a source of anxiety, discouragement and frustration for me. It was no one’s fault but my own. As I fought to make it happen, I was shaking my fist at the Lord, saying “Fine! You won’t do it? I’ll do it myself cause I’m tough and I can work hard so is this what you want? Me to do it all? Fine!”

Then, quietly, as He always speaks, He began saying “Stop it. Just stop”.

“What stop my attitude?”

“For sure…and stop striving”

“You mean stop working?”

“Yes”

“You’re crazy”.

“I’m God”

“I’m going to look stupid and foolish”

“That’s not what you need to worry about. You need to listen to Me.”

“So then what do I do?”

“I’ll provide for you. You love people, and that is why you liked that job at the beginning. You love to talk with people and serve them. That’s what I made you to do. So just do that.”

So I did. And letting it go hurt.

Matt and I were part of our church’s VBS, and I began volunteering at our Church’s Preschool. I also started watching my neighbor’s daughters for a few hours a week. I let them choose what they could afford to pay.

We are cracked, earthen vessels. When the Lord puts His treasure in us, it should pour out. Whether that means His love and glory, His care for others, or even the money that really belongs to Him. He will fill us back up, and to overflowing.

During this time I also started to run. Literally. Which is weird cause I hate running. But I have found that it is a great time to talk with the Lord. On the way up this one hill, right when I feel like my lungs are about to give and Rebecca is going to have to drag me home, I get real honest with my Savior. And it’s not always pretty. But neither is running.

It was during a run one day that I told the Lord a few things. It started with “God I am trying to do this, but it is hard. I feel alone. I feel drained. I’m trying to trust You, and serve You, and serve my family, and read the Bible, and be a good mom, and and and!” But He said nothing. A few minutes later I said “And another thing! How come I suck at running? Seriously! Why am I even doing this? I don’t feel any different! I’m trying to be healthy so that I have energy and I just don’t think it’s working!” This time He did answer.

“Corrie, I delight in you. I like you. And by the way, you are over-striding. Take smaller steps. If you can’t run the whole trail, just walk it for a while. Do what you CAN do, and let me TRAIN you to do more.”

Oh Jesus, how do you do that??? He had just answered BOTH of my questions. How do I go on? Where do I get my strength? Answer: Slow down, and do what you can. Do it diligently, but don’t beat yourself up, allow grace to cover you.

A few weeks later running up that hill I blurted out a few more things. “Jesus. Help. I can’t see the end of this path. I just need to know that You can see it.”

“Oh I see it. And I am already there. AND I am here. Right here running with you. Crying with you. Holding you up when you list to one side or the other. I’ll run you there.” Such comforting words! I craved more…and running was becoming a habit.

Several days later I said “Ok, I trust you. But I’m sorry, I need a sign. Please show me that you are there at the end of the trail!”

That day He said nothing. But when we were done with the run, we met up with friends at the park for a while, and then grabbed the mail as we headed home. As I flipped through the pile, a familiarly sized, taped shut envelope fell into my hand. Several weeks before Matt and I had received an unmarked envelope filled with 20s and only a simple verse written inside. We were completely blessed by it, but never expected more. It turned out to be the first of 6 or 7 of these envelopes. All written in the same hand, with similar and incredibly meaningful and poignant verses written in them. Receiving these letters never got old.

(I hope whoever sent those letters has been blessed beyond measure. And if you read this one day, please know that your example of selflessness and generosity has humbled us, and brought us closer with our Lord.)

In November, after 5 months of learning to trust the Lord, He provided me with another job. One where Rebecca comes with me, and loves it. Where she has friends who treat her like a sister. Where I get to serve children and laugh and play with them and delight in each of them. Where I get to mentor young adults as they learn to serve the Lord too. Where I come home, sometimes with a headache, but always with stories of their silly antics and how they bless me.

In December, before I had actually started my job, the World Vision Catalog came. It’s the one that has pages and pages of pictures of bunnies and goats and cows and school supplies, and shows how a chicken can turn a family’s life around. I am not usually a crier, but this magazine made me cry, and that was a good indication that I needed to take action. When I told Matt that I had cried he said he had too, which really wasn’t news to me…Matt’s a *crier (*printed with permission).

So then we deliberated…do we give now, or after Christmas when maybe some gift money has rolled in? If we do this now, we probably won’t be able to afford gifts for each other this year. Maybe after my first paycheck? Or maybe??? But the pressing of the Holy Spirit said to do it now.

Matthew 19:29

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.

I’m not going to philosophize about the first part of that verse. It looks tricky. But here are the facts:

We gave $50. We bought some bunnies. the. next. day. we received a notice in the mail saying that though we had previously been denied state disability, we actually were granted disability and would be receiving a check for back pay from the time we had applied until December. Then another one of those taped up letters arrived a few days later. Then a friend said the Lord put it on his heart to give us a gift. Then Lynne’s coworkers, who choose a family in the community to lavish Christmas on every year, chose us. And a basket of goodies, toys for Rebecca and gift cards to all our favorite grocery stores arrived. Then our family, who are always generous to us, were characteristically generous. By Christmas Day we had 100 times the amount we had given.

He is GOD. And He is still doin’ His thing. He will never change.

~ Love, Corrie

Doctor appt. 2/3/12 ......and a little more

Before actually getting into the nitty gritty of our last doctor's appointment, I wanted to share a couple verses that have popped up for me lately. Corrie and I really see this journey through my sickness as so much more than just doctors and medicine and trying to get better. It's also a journey of seeking hard after the Lord and believing in his promises. That said, the first verse is Isaiah 42:9:

"Behold, the former things have come to pass,
And new things I declare;
Before they spring forth I tell you of them."

Possibly the single most important factor that has kept us joyful and hopeful in these last few months has been the whispers of the Holy Spirit to our hearts. Without getting into too much detail, let me just say that His words to us have been very hopeful. We do not believe AT ALL that this sickness is permanent for us, but that it's end is in sight and that God's healing will spring forth speedily in my body.

Sometimes it feels foolish to hold on to this hope and to seriously believe that the sickness's days are numbered, because we have not seen any physical improvement for quite some time. And when you struggle to stand up from sitting on the couch or to climb up a couple of stairs, healing can seem like nothing more than a faint whisp of a possibility.

But the other verse that has been hitting me over and over again is in Romans 4, where God says that Abraham, "contrary to hope, in hope believed...And not being weak in faith he did not consider his own body, already dead, and the deadness of Sarah's womb. He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform."

The Bible is just full of promises for healing, so we thank God that he has given us the faith to stand on those promises and to see them come to pass.

Anyway, here are some of the details of what's been going on with my health and healthcare lately. Last week Monday, I had an appointment, not with my doctor, but with someone that he works closely with who is able to run a lot of tests to assess patients' progress and major areas of concern. Then, this past Friday, we met with my doctor to go over the results of that testing and to reevaluate our plan of action...because we all want to see more improvement than we have lately.

The testing showed that Lyme and it's coinfections are still there and still a concern, but not the top priority--probably because we've been doing so much treatment against the Lyme. What DOES show up as top priority right now are parasites, heavy metals, and chemicals. So we are going after these parasites pretty hard throughout this week and will see how my body reacts to the treatment. If all goes well, this Friday we'll start the process of drawing the heavy metals out of my body through what is a very effective IV therapy.

Regardless of whether we are able to do the metals treatment on Friday, we will still be meeting with my doctor to closely monitor my progress. He is fully conscious that the inflammation in my body, and especially my joints, can cause long term damage. So he wants to know immediately if what we are doing is helpful or not. In fact we were told to contact him asap if my reaction is either too great OR too little.

For pain/functionality, he had me start a round of Prednisone, which will also help to protect my joints from damage. Let me just say, this stuff is awesome! It's been nice to feel energized, mobile, and more present again. Unfortunately, the parasite treatment seems to also be working. And as the parasites are dying, they are releasing toxins into my body, which leads to pain. But it's still better than it was.

Also, this coming Friday, we're going to talk about bringing a rheumatologist into the picture in order to monitor my joints and provide treatment of symptoms while we still pursue the treatment of the cause.

We have been contacting some other healthcare options, including a pretty intensive clinic that we would have to travel to. We are waiting to receive a full report from them detailing what their treatment program would entail. We plan on going over this with my current doctor, because he can offer most, if not all, of the same treatment. But it would be a great thing to have him working in conjunction with this other place.

Ok! Was that an earful or what? If you need a snack break or something feel free. This post alone is worth 2 Lyme Master's Degree Credits.

Prayer Requests!!
1. Please pray that this parasite killer works! This drug is intense, and it is the drug best used for one of the two parasites. If it works REALLY well, it could knock both of them out at once...and that is what we are going for!
2. Please pray that my body handles the die off. If this week is too hard, our doctor is going to be hesitant to start the heavy metal treatments...because that too will have a die off.
3. We have recently discovered that my body becomes sensitized very quickly to treatments and drugs. This could go any way. I could become sensitized to the Prednisone, and start hurting A LOT. Or, conversely, I could become sensitized to the Parasite treatment and start feeling GREAT on the Prednisone. We have to watch for both.
4. Please pray for protection on my joints, and that when the time comes, we would be led to the best physical therapy for my condition.
5. Please pray for Corrie. She spends the majority of her time serving me and taking care of Rebecca, and she needs all the energy and strength she can get.
6. Please pray for wisdom as we are always listening for the Lord's direction in treatments.

Please stay tuned for more info as it comes. And thank you for being with us, praying for us, and here on this blog.